See the videos here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPE2cUxlflI
Alex Zander: Nick you’re becoming a bit of a regular on MK ULTRA the last couple of weeks. In fact your latest stunt landed you in jail and got you banned from Wal Mart for life. I gotta say this last one was one of the funniest pranks I’ve ever seen. In your words what went down?
Nick Huffman: Thanks for having me back, Alex. It was pretty simple. My daughter and I were in the Kankakee WalMart and the Sporting Goods phone kept ringing. The intercom kept doing that one deal where it said, “We need an associate to sporting goods” and the phone was ringing. I’m gonna tell you a little secret. I don’t always act right. I couldn’t help myself.
AZ: I saw the police report and newspaper article; how the hell did they compare your prank to racism?
NH: I wanted to play the most offensive character possible. So, I made Earl a southern racist. The goal was to piss the people off who were on the other end of the line. Kankakee is a black area. So, that’s who Earl picked on. If I were in Arizona, I’d have picked on Mexicans. If I were in West Virginia, I’d have picked on white trash. That’s how comedy works. You hit the ball that’s sitting in front of you. Most people get that. But, there’s always that small percentage of people who hear the word “black” and they get self righteous and grab their pussies and running around in circles. Fuck every last one of those people. They’re exactly what’s wrong with this country. This politically correct shit has done got out of hand.
AZ: Who ratted you out this time?
NH: I kind of ratted on myself. I posted the videos to my facebook page. Yeah, I did it. I’m not sorry. I’m not going to apologize. Given the opportunity, I’d do it again.
AZ: How do you feel about getting in your local news?
NH: I think the local news thing is great. Every time I accidentally get myself arrested, my write up is always longer than everyone else’s. There’s a reason they do that to me and not everyone else. I’m good with it.
AZ: Any chance you will talk on the air with Mancow about this?
NH: I haven’t talked to Mancow in a year and a half. There’s no bad blood or anything. After dad died, I stopped doing the show and that’s the end of it. If he calls, sure. Why not?
AZ: What’s the charge and how much will it cost you?
NH: The charge is $88. Disorderly Conduct. Disorderly Conduct isn’t a real crime, anyhow. My buddy Rob says that Disorderly Conduct is a charge that was made up by the Germans in 1939 so they had an excuse to round up the jews. He barbecues pigs for a living, so, I’m pretty sure he knows what he’s talking about.
AZ: Legally, what’s next?
NH: Well, I’m going to trial and I will be representing myself.
AZ: So, you’re going to be your own lawyer?
NH: Yes. They had me arrested for answering a phone, which isn’t Disorderly conduct. They wanted this, not me. So, we can all put our Mickey Mouse ears on together. We have folks getting addicted to heroin. We have people fucking kids. But, Nick Huffman answers a goddamn telephone and the whole town stops. It’s ridiculous.
AZ: How was jail?
NH: Honestly, I can’t say enough about how nice the police and jail cops were to me. Luckily, I wasn’t wearing a hoodie. If I hadn’t been arrested, we wouldn’t be doing this interview right now. The reason this went viral is because they arrested me. So, I’d like to dedicate this interview to Wal Mart, Sharika, all the members of the Mickey Mouse fan club, and also to you Mrs Calabash, wherever you are.
AZ: Off the subject, I know you have an affiliation w/ David Allan Coe. Care to share anything about that?
NH: Ahhh, you picked up my DAC reference. Well done, Alex. David and his wife Kimberly and I have been friends for almost fifteen years. At one point, I ran his website and I, along with Tana Leggo and CJ Cumberland hosted his benefit in Louisville with my good friend Dallas Moore, Confederate Railroad, Pope Dan Johnson, and the Outlaws Motorcycle Club.
AZ: What’s next for Earl?
NH: You wouldn’t believe what’s next. Do you remember Fuck Her Right In the Pussy Fred?
AZ: Of course.
NH: He and I are friends. We’re working on something together. That’s all I’m going to say, but the momentum is going in the right direction.
AZ: Anything else you’d like to add?
NH: There is something that has always been very difficult for me to say.
I slit the sheet, the sheet I slit, and on the slitted sheet I sit. I’ve never been relaxed enough around anyone to be able to say that.
Nick Huffman is a Stand Up Comic as well as a Television and Radio Personality. He’s done numerous appearance on the popular Mancow radio and TV programs and in 2013 made the Delinquents Of Comedy proud when he was hired by Mancow TV as an on the scene reporter at the Illinois Gun Owners Lobby Day March on Springfield, IL . He also runs the The Looney Bin 201 S Schuyler Ave, Bradley, IL 60915 where they regularly host live concerts, comedy shows and other shenanigans.